we have officially lost it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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