Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
