Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
