Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize