He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
