i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
