We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
a search helicopter?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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