I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
