If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
