"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
