No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
