I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
