Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
soo... how was my night?
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