I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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