The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
