Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This baby is an asshole
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
