i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
