Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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