hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
