Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Be still, my beating vagina.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize