you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
