the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
