Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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