Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
