Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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