I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
