My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
