Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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