Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
