you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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