When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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