Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
