WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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