ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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