It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
