you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
