Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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