Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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