every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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