I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
