my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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