Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
