tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
