her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
