Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
