After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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