I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
