Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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