My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
