I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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