So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
