I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
