He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Randomize
