I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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