she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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