at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
