i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Found the puke drawer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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