Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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