Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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