I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
